So, three (3!) day, intermittent headaches do not make a good Erika. It says it right there in my owners manual, on page 3, right alongside the instructions to call me adorable pet names from the 50's like 'toots' and to feed me bacon periodically. Don't tell me you didn't read the manual... So, after *weeks* of hot anticipation, impractical worry (is there such thing practical worry? And discuss...), tactical schedule planning and wishful budget planning, I found out this afternoon that I was not accepted in the Etsy Seller Section of the spring One of Kind show happening in Toronto at the end of March. For the hour immediately following my reading that email, I was crushed. Fully crushed. I embraced the crushedness. I fucking pouted. At work. Big lower-lip-out-male-coworkers-avoid-making-eye contact-so-as-not-to-engage-female-emotional-response pouting. EPIC pouting. As usual no reason was given (I didn't expect one) and the email was clunkily and hastily written, copied, pasted, complete with typo (SRSLY?) and I was honestly more angry about the typo than not getting in. Well, sort of. I miserably posted to Twitter, copied it to FB, wah wah wahhhhhh me... I even went so far as to complain on Twitter about how I neeevvvver get into big shows, blah blah bitch blah, and then called out @cityofcraft in my rant, mentioning how I've been applying to them for years and nooo dice. And then something cool happened. They responded. And a conversation ensued.
I ended up with some insight on show production that I hadn't considered, and further to that, I was given the open-ended suggestion that maybe Toronto ought to have more shows, specifically jewelry shows. Hey, waitaminit, this *is* a good idea. Why doesn't Toronto have more jewelry-only shows? I can't be the only person to have asked this question before...can I? There are SO MANY talented jewelers in this city - hell, I know a few myself and I don't even live in TO. Sarah Wan, a classmate of mine from Sheridan has a very successful storefront and teaches very popular classes: just like me, she took illustration and it lead her astray (only holy hell, she strayed the right and quick way - her work is absolutely stunning, and I truly hope to study with her sometime this year.) My friend Maral who I know from the dance community is a brilliantly talented designer, costumer and jewelry maker and my beloved Kat over at Sassmowth Designs/Love you like Porkchops makes gorgeous jewelry out of her gorgeous photography. Lookit that - a Twitter rant, a conversation, a bit of thinking on the subject, and I have already thought of 3 artists off the top of my head (and with a brutal headache at that)...actually, I just thought of two more writing that last sentence. Fuck you headache, I am the winner.
I'm not saying I'm suddenly in the jewelry show producing business, but I'm not saying I'm not, either. But I had never, ever considered it as an option before, and I've spent the last 7 hours thinking about it a lot. And actually considering it, not just thinking about it. I guess the whole point of today's rejection was to get a different perspective - isn't that really what any rejection is simply about? It's a reminder of a reality that we often forget (or ignore): there is more out there that you can currently see. You are forced to look at things, yourself, actions, or a situation in a completely different way, very suddenly. This change of perspective is not suggested to you, it's not whispered at the peripheries where you could maybe ignore it - you are bitch-slapped into it and that's why it sucks. At the time. I feel completely differently about that rejection now then I did at 4 pm this afternoon. Funny that.
I swear the damn universe is on to this shit well before it ever goes down. Sandwiching (yeah, it's a verb now...) my crappy Wednesday with deliciousness, I got a completely random 'drive-by' compliment from a stranger on Etsy last night, as I was bleary-eye-ed-ly (ok, I gotta stop making up these words...) finishing a few pairs of earrings. It was literally a 'hey, just wanted to let you know that your stuff is really good, bye!' email, and it made my night. Combined with an extended snuggle with a cat who *wasn't* biting for once and really liking the new designs that I finished, I went to bed with a happy heart. A happy heart and an exhausted head. Tonight, the same thing happened, an old co-worker of mine from a bajillion years ago dropped me a line on FB with a gentle 'buck-up' message. It was impeccably timed, thoughtfully worded. I read and reread it several times before responding, and thought about how good it felt to read the words "your work is great" twice in 24 hours, and how without the bitch slap, I wouldn't have gotten to read them at all.
Well played, Rejection, well played. Buck-up challenge accepted.
