(Due to a lack of wireless connectivity at the White Oaks High School Craftapalooza show earlier today, I decided to 'tweet' my first holiday show experience of 2009 into my notepad app on my iPod. Allow me the luxury of offering a little context for you: I am completely exhausted, went to bed at 2:30 this morning and was up just before 7, was missing bits of inventory that I wanted to have completed for the show, have had 3 unbelievably stressful weeks in a row with no 'breaks', no luck, and very little money. I am, in short, very close to unhinged...so because I am a sucker for punishment, I put on my bravest face and decided to peddle my pretties to the world today.)
As a consolation to myself and my lack of net connection, I decided that my pretend Twitter had no 140 character limits...babble away Erika, babble away!
8:30 arrival. Pinched finger in my crapass cart and swore like a pirate, to the wide eyes of peeps in the parking lot. Quick, smile....nothing, nothing...There are green hatted High school elves everywhere helping vendors move gear!!! Big gold stars for everyone!!
8:52 - oh shit, we open in 8 mins. What the hell...
9:13 - Ahhh crap. They're gonna play xmas music. It's like 15 degrees out, it's freaking springishly warm...guess they gotta do something to remind us why we're here. At least it's old skool Bing xmas music. Bearable-ish.
9:45- Made first sale!!! $86... Whew, always nice to break even in the first hour...bodes well.
9:59 Bing sings Mele kaliki'maka for the second time.
10:09 The most suave 14 year old ever to wear an elf hat comes over to tell me that as a vendor I am entitled to a drink, and asks when I would like said drink. He says it like a come-on...like he's overheard his Dad say it to *all* the ladies...I hope by drink he means martini...when really I know he means pop. Bing sings Adeste Fidelis.
10:21 I am meeting the nicest people here...*incredulous* I really need to have greater faith in humanity every once and awhile...
10:32 2nd sale!! $35 sweet sepia earrings!! Woot!!
10:42 D'oh... just realized that I short changed last customer 3$...feel like a chump...
10:47 Holy crap, the tiniest woman walked past my table lugging the biggest muffin I have ever seen...was like an ant carrying an entire cake...
10:59 Thrice- replayed Bing Christmas music has been replaced by crapass Mariah Christmas music...urge to kill, rising...
11:25 3rd sale!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!
11:37 Not bringing food with me was a poor choice...sooo hungry.....cheerios, you have failed meeeeeeee.....
11:49 Speedy muffin acquisition complete. This muffin is the size of a whole cake, full of bleached white sugary goodness and random orangey bits that are supposed to be 'orange' and is from horrible Costco. Cost me a buck. Om nom nom...
Noon- Christmas music is off, and I am missing it for some reason. Yes, I must be losing my mind...
12:18 No, crazy tacky lady...I will not trade you one of my $56 BelleTorcs for a weird $6 bracelet cuff thing, please go away now, your perfume is insane and your eye makeup is scaring the children (read: me)... #tradeFAIL
12:21 The honey lady across from me just stands and smiles...she is the zen beekeeper of the world. I can't stop staring at her because she is so damn calm. I'm afraid that I'm staring so much that the whites of my eyes might be creeping her out...
12:31 Christmas music is back. I regret my earlier statement.
12:54 4th sale!!!! I'm sure it's because of Bing and his honey money voice....
1:12 Crowd has died down a bit. Chance to sleep with eyes open for a bit...lulling myself into muffin-fuelled coma by listening to Silent Night and gazing at some spastic toddler's light-up shoes reflecting off the floor...
1:15 Bing sings Mele kaliki'maka *again*... Stifle maniacal laughter at the dawning realization of the ridiculousness of the name Bing...Bing Bing Bing
1:24 Jolted awake by 5th sale!!!!!!! Can't decide if it's Christmas or my birthday...
1:30 Tony shows up! Huzzah... A human I can swear with! ;)
1:58 "Pie and drink $2.50" This is on a sign on a drink cart that keeps passing by. We both find this hilarious for some reason. LMAO.
2:23 BING SINGS MELE KALIKI'MAKA AGAIN......
2:27 Irritatingly catty vendor comes over to bitch about show. I, for once, have nothing to bitch about and so I smile and nod and wish for SILENCE.
2:38 BING SINGS MELE KALIKI'MAKA AGAIN WTF!!!!??? HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE HEARD OF SHUFFLE!!???
2:49 Just met the lovely Cely Corveira from Spain, now living here. She and her sister-in-law are super super complimentary about my work and I feel so sunny :) Also: they have beautiful accents!!
2:52 Bought two jars of blueberry honey from the calming zen beekeeper of the universe lady. I hope the honey will be as calming as she seemingly is. Muse whether or not bees are inherently calm despite frenetic lifestyle...or perhaps calming zen bee keeper lady is on quaaludes because she is secretly afraid of bees? ...She's awfully calm....
3:14 WTF it's over. I'm packing up. I haven't got enough ziplock bags. There are about a million green-hatted, high school elves waiting like wolves for me to pack up my table to that they can put it away. I'm kinda creeped out by their predatory helpfulness...these are not normal teenagers.
3:21 I hear a bunch of shit hit the floor on the other side of the gym, breaking sounds, and a vendor's cry and a 15 year old boy say 'oops..sorry...my bad'. These are normal teenagers...
3:51 I am on the elevator with my cart of stuff and a pocket full of random paper...that sure went fast. Scotch will be good. Scotch and Paypal invoicing...
One down, 3 to go.